The Bachelor Watch: The Women Tell All and Nothing at the Same Time

TIME

Welcome back to The Bachelor, where in long-standing Bachelor tradition, instead of seeing the conclusion to Chris’ journey to find love, his courtship is interrupted by an episode called “The Women Tell All.” The title says everything you need to know about the episode where the things get real, Chris Harrison swears “It’s the most shocking season ever,” and waterproof mascara gets tested to its limits.

Here’s what happens when the women tell all on The Bachelor:

Party Hopping: Before we get to the group-therapy session, Chris Soules and Chris Harrison go party hopping. And while ideally it would be like The Bachelor Thunderdome where two Chrises enter, but only one Chris leaves, instead they just crash a bunch of Bachelor viewing parties. At one of the viewing parties, Chris Soules was mouth assaulted by a corn-tequila drinking mother who just couldn’t control herself (probably due to…

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